Just a poem

If I had an inch I'd give you a mile
If you were a frown I'd give you a thousand smiles
I'd give you the world if you asked
But all I want you to have is my heart

I'll write you a song if that's what you want
Then tear it all up if you don't
I'll show you my mind and give you my heart
Just promise you won't rip it apart

I want to know how you are
I want to know your heart and soul
Your voice is a work of art
I wish you could be mine to hold

I never could move on from your eyes
They'd haunt me wherever I go
Quitting isn't always so bad
When giving up on the impossible

Honestly I'd be crazy not to love you
Although the effect seems the same either way
I have dreams of spending forever with you
I wonder if you'd want to stay?

One of these days you will realize that you are all I think about.... Please get out of my head...

I'm sorry :(

I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused everyone... I'm sorry that I walked into your life and caused you to look out for me...
I thank you for being there for me no matter what.. You have been the best friend a girl could ask for... You have been there for me when nobody was there for me... but I am not good for you... June will probably be the best thing that has ever come to you because you will be rid of me... It's what is best for you, me, and us... The past 6(ish) months has been the best 6 months of my life.. I thank you for that! Remember that I do love you and that I will always be here for you and you will always be the Piderman to my Baman...
Right now, I am about to cry and there are a ton of people around... I have so much more to tell you but I don't know how...

I love you <3

Baman

blah!

Ever have those days where you just want to curl up with your blankie and a sad movie and forget about the world?  That day is today... I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to be around anyone.. I just want to be with my blankie, a sad movie, maybe some tea and forget about the world... Just for today please? I want to forget all the hustle and bustle of the outside... I want to forget that there is such a thing as good and evil... I just want to be by myself... Maybe I'm asking too much especially since I have a roommate and a puppy that needs lots of attention.... Oh well, life will move on regardless of whether or not I get this time... so here's to me enjoying the quiet...

much love <3

I miss you....

I went from not seeing you at all to seeing you twice in one week where we had to have close contact.  

I miss your smile, I miss the nerdiness... I miss everything.. I really hope you know that you did mean everything to me.... I am always going to be here if you need me, you will always have a place in my heart.... And I'll never forget the times we had... 

Letting go....

This is my saying good-bye and letting go.  I will no longer worry about things that I cannot control.  I will quit worrying about whether or not you're depressed... I will no longer be at your beckoning call.  I will no longer be there......

Good bye <3

I'll never understand...

I'll never understand how we can allow ourselves to hurt, or how we can let people in that we know are going to hurt us.  I'll never understand why as humans we need to love and be loved.  I'll never understand how you can call someone your "best friend" and then turn around and stab them in the back or how you can make yourself the victim in every situation.  I'll never understand how we can give advice but never take our own or how no matter how long its been since your first love, it always hurts knowing that they got away.  I'll never understand that the pain that is caused in your life helps shape the person you become.  I'll never understand how we always think about the one person that "got away" and never think about what's right in front of us.  I'll never understand how you and another person can have mutual feelings for each other but not let them happen because of outside factors or how no strings attached becomes much more than you ever imagined it to be.

One day I want to know what it's like to be loved again.  I want to have that feeling of knowing that someone is thinking about you at some point in the day and wondering what you're doing.  I just miss the feelings of being with someone who truly loves you back.  I have no idea of whether or not I'm going to get it again but I can only hope that one day someone will love me again.  And I can't help but reminisce on what used to be. I miss it so much it hurts.

These are the things that I will never understand and maybe I'm not supposed to but right now I really need answers and I'm not getting any.  Oh well, I guess life will move on.. With or without me, so I have to make the best of it....

It's almost 5 in the morning so I must go to bed and get some rest... and I'm done rambling...

Loves <3