Fun facts about Lacy :D

1. My middle name is Nicole. 
2. I'm a November baby :) 
3. I have a tattoo
4. I live with my best friend
5. I plan to own a Ferrari and a Ford F-350
6. I am part red neck.
7. My dad is full blooded Native American. 
8. All together, I'm native american, irish, german, chinese (just a little itty bit), and a mixture of a million other things. 
9. I do love to drink alcohol but am not an alcoholic. 
10. I am deathly afraid of needles and bees. 
11. I'm claustrophobic 
12. I have a slight case of obsessive compulsive disorder. 
13. Being alone terrifies me. 
14. I love my boys. 
15. I want a chocolate lab.
16. I've been protecting and taking care of my sisters since I was seven. 
17. I've seen my mom be beaten. 
18. I've seen my mom beat. 
19. I'm terrified of becoming an alcoholic. 
20. Disappointing my loved ones is one my worst fears. 

There are many, many other things but these are just some of the ones I can name.  In my next post there are a ton of things that I have to catch you up on but for now, I'm really sleepy and am going to go to bed.

Hasta luego :D

In the end...

Well first off, the whole trying to separate myself from this person is failing... epically.... So plan B, try and not be so attached... We'll see where this takes us..

Today's rant is basically about how I wonder if in the end the drama and bullshit will be gone... I'm so tired of bullshit drama always getting caught up in my life... 95% of the time I have nothing to do with the situation, it's because I know someone who knows someone.  It's bogus and it only hurts people.  I don't get how people can say something when they know that it's going to hurt the person in the end.  Maybe I care too much about what other's think and feel but to me it seems pointless to say something about someone when you're intentionally setting out to hurt them. (that was a really messed up sentence) I have always worried about what I say around other's just because I don't want to hurt them.  I have always been on that keeps things bottled up inside just so I don't hurt others.  Many look at this as a bad thing but if I have to hurt myself in order to not hurt someone I'm going to do it.

So that's my rant for the night and I'll leave you with this beautiful picture :)

Good night all <3

It's time...

So I've decided in order to not hurt myself anymore, it's time that I break away from some people.  I'm not saying that I'm going to completely annihilate them from life, I'm just saying that I'm going to make myself a little less available and a little less willing to keep conversations going, etc.  I just need to become less attached.  This person is living their own life and I think that I need to be a little less involved in it.  I have no control over this person's actions, who they talk to, or what they say.  I need to understand that.  I think they need to understand that no matter what I'll be there, just not so readily available to help them through their problems.  I need to learn to say "Eh" when it comes to people coming to me with their problems.  If this makes me a bitch then so be it. I'm tired of putting all my heart in soul in someone and them not giving a shit about me.  I'm tired of being the one that EVERYONE comes to and me not having anyone to go to.  I have always been everyone's everything and I'm tired.  The mental exhaustion that comes along with this responsibility is unreal.  One day I hope that my loved ones will realize what I meant to them.

Loves to all....

Why?

Why is it when we break up with a significant other, we feel the need to treat them like the dirt under our shoes?!  Recently I've had to deal with a friend going through a traumatic event and it hurt my close friends dearly, but this friend would not have done what she did if it wasn't for the fact that her ex kept trying to contact her and kept pushing and smothering her and she didn't know how to get out of it... I don't get how or why we do that to others... It really boggles my mind.  Are we really that emotionally withdrawn as a species that we have to make our "ex" significant others feel completely horrible in order to make ourselves feel better?!

Also, I'm helping a friend with his recent break up with his fiancée and she feels that it's necessary to go out and sleep with everyone she can, just because she thinks it will get to him... Sad thing is, is that it is getting to him because he has a very kind heart and feels that if he ignores her hes the one being a dick, when in fact he's just protecting himself.  I don't know, I know that is what I had to do when I broke up with my ex that I had been with for 2 years and out of nowhere he just breaks up with me... but that's a story for another day.. My point is, if you have recently broken up with someone and it was a very harsh break-up, quit talking to them.. By continuing to talk to them, you are just opening the wound up again and again... It's going to be hard but that's something you have to do for you.. and if you think that it's going to hurt them if you don't talk to them, think about the pain that they have caused you.

Basically, I'm going to end my rant here because it's going off in a completely different direction than I had planned...

Loves <3